Day 19: Are You Doing What You Truly Want to Do?

Day 19
January 1, 2018

Dear Me,

NO, I am not doing what I want because I am UNSURE of what I want. Last November I landed a job in a private hospital as an Operating Room Inventory Associate but it’s only for a couple of months because I am just filling up for a regular’s position while she is on maternity leave. The job is demanding but has a low pay. I understand though because I am not a regular staff but still, the money that I get is just enough for myself. The great thing about my job is that I get to watch different types of procedures, the most common being Cesarean, basic excisions and incisions, Explore Laparotomy, Craniectomy, CTT, Colonoscopy, and Cataract Eye Surgeries. It’s fun getting to watch surgeons doing the things that they do best. I also like most of the people that I met but socializing for me is difficult because most of the times I just want to keep to myself but socializing is a necessity because your job becomes a hundred times easier if your co-workers like you. All staffs in operating rooms have strong personalities which is an unspoken requirement in the OR environment due to the stress of time constraints and how busy it gets especially if you get a full house (operations right after operations).

If there’s one thing that I don’t like about my job is that it is 24-hour shifting kind of job. I want to have a job that has a stable time, I do not care about having to work overtime as long as I get to have at least a bit of control with my own time because the biggest challenge in a 24-hour shifting schedule is that you cannot fully trust the schedule that you’ve been given for the month because at any day, a co-worker can suddenly go absent and then you’d have no choice but to go in early or at worse, work for a straight 16-hours. This kind of schedule fucks up my sleeping cycle and despite having two days off each week, these two days are not enough for your body to adjust especially if you just had a night shift. It’s tiring but it is a great place for learning for people like me who is still unsure whether to pursue the medical career or not.

STILL a pain in the ass,

Disclaimer: The questions that I am using for the ‘Ask Yourself’ will come from the mobile app called Questions Diary which is available in Play Store. I decided to write my answers here because I wanted to share my thoughts to anyone who’ll stumble upon this. This is also a way for me to try to get myself to write everyday.


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