November 1, 2017
No my dear self, you are not suicidal but I do admit that you have suicidal thoughts. I mean, just like what I said in a previous post, I self-hate but I do not self-harm because I hate physical pain. I find self-hate more effective in getting me to straighten my sh*t together than cutting myself.
I have always wanted to talk to a professional but unfortunately, that is not possible at the moment because I am still unemployed and I do not want to tell my parents because I tried that once but they scoffed and told me I am just imagining things. So yes, I do not want to tell them. If I finally get to seek professional help then it would in my terms.
Your pain in the ass,
Disclaimer: The questions that I am using for the ‘Ask Yourself’ will come from the mobile app called Questions Diary which is available in Play Store. I decided to write my answers here because I wanted to share my thoughts to anyone who’ll stumble upon this. This is also a way for me to try to get myself to write everyday.