October 31, 2017
I am in a love-hate relationship with myself and it is complicated. I mean, I admit I have tons of insecurities and I am prone to feeling really down for days and even weeks. I hate myself but I do not self-harm. I tried cutting myself back in high school but no, I do not like feeling physical pain so I figured, self-hate works best for me since I can beat myself up emotionally and no one will ever know but me.
But as much as I like to beat myself down, I have not given up at the thought that I’d somehow get better in the future. I mean, I hate myself, but I also trust me sometimes. I haven’t given up on myself yet but I am nowhere ready to seek help at the moment. Maybe someday when I feel like I am ready to forgive myself. But not just yet.
Your pain in the ass,
Disclaimer: The questions that I am using for the ‘Ask Yourself’ will come from the mobile app called Questions Diary which is available in Play Store. I decided to write my answers here because I wanted to share my thoughts to anyone who’ll stumble upon this. This is also a way for me to try to get myself to write everyday.