Day 1: Are You Happy?

Day 1
October 25, 2017

Dear Me,

I am not quite sure on how to answer this question because this is subjective to what I am currently feeling or situation and normally I would quickly say ‘Yes!’ but I find that it is a lie that I often tell myself.

When I saw the question earlier this morning, I realized that I might have confused happiness with contentment. Now, there are people who believe that if you are happy then you are contented and that if you are contented then you are happy, however I think that it does not hold true all the time. You may be sitting there reading this and thinking, ‘What is the difference between the two? Aren’t they similar?” Well lemme tell you now that you are wrong. Happy and content are two different words and in my personal definition, happy refers to the pleasant feeling while content refers to satisfaction. While I think that being happy is almost always accompanied by contentment, vice versa is not because I think that you can feel contentment without being happy. If you feel content then it’s most likely that you will not go out and search for more because you are already satisfied with what you have and that might mean that you are limiting yourself to what you have now and might not summon the courage to go back there and explore.

My mind is all over the place again but yes, that is exactly where I am at this moment. I feel content but I am a fresh graduate with no job. I may be fine now but I can feel discontent nagging at the back of mind. I have started applying to several agencies but as of the moment, I am still waiting for news. I am feeling content but I have this dilemma between looking for a job or study my ass off and try my luck in med school. I want a job because I want to be able to sustain myself with my basic needs but at the same time, my pride is still smarting over med school.

Anyways, there you have it dear self, at this point in time, no, you are most definitely not happy.

Your pain in the ass,

Disclaimer: The questions that I am using for the ‘Ask Yourself’ will come from the mobile app called Questions Diary which is available in Play Store. I decided to write my answers here because I wanted to share my thoughts to anyone who’ll stumble upon this. This is also a way for me to try to get myself to write everyday.


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